Knowing your romantic partner’s heart on a deeper level is key to a happy and healthy relationship. But have you ever considered what their love language is? The concept of “Love Languages” comes from author, ordained minister, and marriage counselor Gary Chapman.
In his book “The Five Love Languages,” Chapman illustrates a groundbreaking concept that both partners in a relationship have specific ways they prefer to express and receive love. Even more interesting? Knowing your partner’s love language is (he suggests) essential to growing a thriving, caring, and loving relationship!
Whether you’ve been together for a month or years, if you want to grow your connection and strengthen your romantic bond with your partner (and who isn’t?), our guide will help you learn about the five different love languages and what they mean.
1. Gifts and Tokens of Affection
Does your husband show up at home with a bouquet?
Does this make your heart melt?
Maybe you are flattered by your lover cooking you a special meal or treating you to a manicure.
If you said yes, your love language might be “Gifts of Affection.” This love language coincides with gifts or tokens representing a partner’s love. Though based on material goods, the objects don’t necessarily have to cost money. For example, a homemade piece of art can be just as appreciated.
If this is your partner’s preferred language, consider surprising them with small gifts now and again. For example, a thoughtful card, tickets to see their favorite band, or that new sweater they have been eyeballing at the store can make them feel loved.
2. Quality Time TogetherÂ
For some, nothing beats a couple’s weekend at the cottage or a romantic dinner away from the kids. If talking for hours in the company of only each other sets off butterflies in your stomach, “Quality Time” could very well be your love language. In such a busy world, many individuals feel most loved when they get to slow down and spend quality time with their significant other. For this love language, ensure you carve out uninterrupted time together. That means no kids, work, or social media…just you two!
3. Physical Touch
Physical touch is essential in any relationship. But did you know that some people receive the most love through physical contact with their partner? Top of the list includes: cuddling in bed, handholding, hugging, kissing, a relaxing massage, making love, etc. If your partner says physical touch is how they feel loved the deepest, try to communicate what exactly it is they like. Staying within your comfort zones and discussing boundaries openly is a fantastic way to use physical touch to enhance your relationship.
4. Words of Affirmation
The right words can change a person’s day. If being told you are intelligent, beautiful, sexy, kindhearted, and a great human being makes you gush, then “Words of Affirmation” might be for you. For a partner with this love language, give genuine compliments about their skills, abilities, talents, appearance, and strengths. People who prefer to receive love this way need to hear the words. So, if that’s you or your partner, speak up! A little communication goes a long way.
5. Acts of ServiceÂ
Our fifth love language is “Acts of Service.” Thoughtful acts (big or small) can brighten our days and make our partner’s life easier, better, and happier. For instance, taking out the trash, cleaning their car, doing the laundry, letting them sleep in…you get the idea. If you receive love in this language, consider explaining to your partner which tasks make you feel most loved when done for you.
Different love language than your partner? Don’t fret!Â
It is common for opposites to attract each other, and love languages are not much different. But, no worries, if you take time to learn your partner’s desired love language, you will be amazed at how much it will increase your love and communication.
Hopefully, you are now confident using the five languages to give and receive love. As in any healthy relationship, discuss together and communicate about how you both feel most adored. And remember, you might have different preferences – that’s okay. Use this guide on love languages to grow as a couple.
Happy loving each other in whatever language your heart speaks!
