Relationships can end in many ways. However, sabotage is an unfortunately common cause of relationship failure. One way you can tell it is sabotage is when envy, fear, jealousy, and hatred undermine what might otherwise be a long and loving relationship. To avoid short-circuiting your relationship, it pays to start with yourself. After all, how can any relationship last if you do not find yourself worthy of love?
What follows are the four most common ways people sabotage their relationships. It usually starts with something small and builds over time to become something unstoppable. Recognizing the signs early can avoid letting such issues grow until they break the relationship.
Poor Communication
If only you had said something differently, you might still be in a loving, happy relationship. Poor communication is rooted in hiding your feelings and needs instead of expressing them. Because such needs remain hidden, unreasonable expectations and resentment arise when your partner does not realize what you genuinely feel.
Communicate in clear terms when something is wrong. Focus on how you feel and what you perceive so that your partner understands right from the start what is happening.
Jealousy
One of the biggest killers in any relationship is jealousy. They stem from fears of being abandoned and, oddly enough, of not feeling enough shame. And while it is true that some people may be genuinely leaving their partners, a great deal of jealousy comes from what is perceived and not what is real.
Jealousy is a monster that only grows with time. Please put it in its place by confronting your feelings early before it gets out of hand.
Being Dishonest
Honesty is the best policy because it builds trust. However, deception comes with a price that becomes too high to pay when the small fibs become big lies. By hiding the fears and concerns they feel will lead to being judged and abandoned, they make them come true by undermining trust.
Be open and honest with how you feel. Let them hear the truth if your partner needs to know it. After all, if you think they will abandon you because you never really had them. Show the trust required by being honest with them. And if they do leave, at least you know that they were not the right person for you.
Engaging in Conflict
A significant number of relationships fall apart because of conflict. Feeling rejected or undervalued can lead to a confrontation that can only end badly. When a person demonstrates contempt, stonewalls, and acts defensively even when not accused. But the real sign is when the urge to criticize and strike out becomes more important than your partner’s feelings.
The urge to cause hurt, especially when feeling vulnerable, causes a cycle of conflict from which there may be no return. In such cases, when your partner does something that you feel the need to criticize, turn it around and express how what they have done makes you think. By avoiding these four ways of sabotaging your love, you can improve your chances of being in a long, healthy relationship.
