When you look at it, I’m being a bit dramatic when I say I’m being selfish. Because if I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t take care of others. So many women write to me, and they sound like martyrs. And while many, even most, have very valid reasons why there is little time for them, they don’t understand that they have to make time for themselves a priority.
Burnout comes on way too quickly, and the first person in your family to pay for it will be your spouse. And the relationship goes downhill from there. So take a good look at your life and ask yourself where you can find time to do the things you need to do for yourself.
You Will Be More Relaxed When You Are Together
Whether you’ve made sure to schedule medical appointments or spent time alone walking through the park, if you’re continually taking care of your own needs, you will be a much more relaxed person. I would much rather spend time with someone who can kick back and relax than with someone who is all stressed out about everything, wouldn’t you? But, of course, your significant other will like that too.
You’re More Interesting When You Have Something Different to Discuss
I know some women who don’t like their husbands to have different activities than they do. They want to spend all of their free time together. Their rationale is that they have so little free time they should spend it with each other. I see their point, but really? All of it?! Not for me. I don’t golf. He does. I love my book club. He’s neither invited (all ladies) nor interested.
We both are people outside of the relationship. If we forget who we were before, we quit being that person. I fell in love with who he was, and he fell in love with who I was. While we both have significantly changed, we still need to maintain some individuality. And besides, we have so much more to talk about when we tell each other about our different activities. Our diverse interests enrich each other, not take away from each other.
Your Next Move–Time for You
So what’s your next move? What do you need? Are you stressed from childcare or work? Do you need quiet, relaxing alone time with a good romance novel? Schedule it and DO IT! Do you need a night out with the girls? Sometimes a night of laughter and fun can make all of our worries seem to float away–for a few hours at least. Perhaps you’re feeling in need of intellectual stimulation and would love to take a class.
Sign up now and make it happen. Do you need exercise? Do you even like to exercise? If yes, find a course you enjoy and go to every week, no matter what. Whatever it is that you need to do for yourself, please do it. Taking time for yourself makes you a better person. And remember, your partner needs that too. So be a bit selfish and come back home to someone who loves and appreciates you even more.
