“What if?” We almost always ask ourselves this question on a conscious or sub-conscience level. From simple decisions regarding what we are making for dinner to more tough choices about our career path, relational skills, and behavior patterns. “What if” is sometimes simply a reflection of our failures or fears.
Someone once said that the greatest regrets in life are the chances not taken. Staying in our comfort zone and not taking chances to get the most out of life limits our ability to love and grow. Understanding that it is never too late to begin, what follows are some tips that will help you know how the “what ifs” are holding you back.
The Negative Power of “What if?”
How often have you stopped going forward by using the words “what if?” For example, “I would do this, but I’m afraid.” Or perhaps, “I understand what you are saying, but I’m not willing to go that far.”
The phrase “what if” may be the most impactful thing we think about daily. It can be both negative and positive. For example, in design work or engineering, these words help troubleshoot possible issues that can come up. But sometimes, “what if” stops people before they get started because it brings up doubt and fear within themselves or other people’s reactions. And perhaps worst of all, it instills fear and trepidation that elevates failure to a meaning that is not true.
Fear of Failure
The phrase “what if” is often associated with failure, and for a good reason, as it allows your mind to play out possible scenarios. It elevates what should be a learning experience to the point that you freeze. The feeling of becoming stuck comes upon us because the phrase “what if” builds imagined possible failure into a situation. It makes us assume the “what if” problem must be feared and avoided.
The biggest successes in life come from our failures. Failure is not a stopping point; it is a place to learn, grow, and try again. Without failure, humans would still be living in caves. That is why we should curb the phrase “what if” when making important decisions. And possibly try “why not?”
Growing by Taking Chances
The only constant in life is changes. What we were yesterday will be different from what we are today and what we will be tomorrow. “What if” tries to stop that change from happening. However, change is inevitable, so trying to stop it is like trying to stop the sun from rising.
Growth happens when we accept change and proceed forward with our lives. “What if” is a fraudulent means of trying to halt change and keep things as they are even though they may be long gone. By giving into your “what ifs,” you are standing still instead of growing.
When making an important decision, whether it’s a new job, a new career, or a possible new love in your life, do not let the word “but” get in the way. Because memories are made by what you do, not what you didn’t do, and while there is always a place for caution and proper consideration, the word “but” should not be a part of that examination process.
Go out and enjoy life. And to get the most out of it, leave your “what ifs” behind.
