Whenever we’re in a new relationship, we tend to have doubts. Is what I’m feeling real? Especially if we’ve had a bad breakup in the past, most of us have had one. So you may ask yourself, “How do I know if he’s the one?”
Though I have been married for a while now and pretty successful at it after a bit of effort and time, I am also a romance writer for a reason. I hear from readers all the time about their sound, bad, and awful romances. Being a romance author tends to cause people to open up to me as much as we all do with our hairstylist or nail tech. From all of this, I’ve learned how to spot a good one and, unfortunately, how to spot a bad one. I hope the tips below will help you figure out if your current crush is Mr. Right or Mr. Run!
Equally, Enjoy Being with Each Other
This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often I hear differently. So many times, I’ve heard women complain that they have to nag their boyfriends to spend time with them. If you have to nag, then that is a huge red flag. It is time for you to reassess your current situation.
Your special guy should want to be with you. Of course, he wants to hang with his friends too, but if he always wants to be with his buddies and you feel neglected, maybe he isn’t relationship material. However, it can also be a red flag if he only wants to be with you all the time too. You want a well-rounded person who doesn’t count on you for all his needs and makes sure you haven’t fallen into the trap of believing he needs to be there for all your needs. It’s a balance. But it’s a balance that should come quickly and naturally. This interdependence always makes for the best relationships.
Now, of course, there are exceptions. If your guy has a career that keeps him away, be understanding. But you should be able to tell if he wants to be with you. I’m talking about when he can be with you but chooses not to. And the reverse is true as well. Is your first choice to be with him? Or would you rather be with your girlfriends, and he is your last resort? That, right there, should tell you everything you need to know.
He Fits Well Into Your World
It would help if you didn’t have to sacrifice time or relationships with your family and friends to spend time together. If you have someone trying to isolate you from those who care about you, run away now–and fast. But if he seems to fit right in with your family and friends, that’s a great sign. Close family members and friends are always good sounding boards and usually have an opinion on the subject. So ask him, just don’t become upset if they tell you the truth.
How he treats others is a good sign of how he will treat you in the future. At the beginning of a relationship, we’re all on our best behavior. But once we’re comfortable, all of our faults begin to show. So be on the lookout for how your guy treats servers at a restaurant, his friends and family, strangers on the bus, or whomever. If he is a kind and courteous guy, you might want to think about sticking around for a while. If he is not, then you really should walk away.
You Share the Same Values
This one is pretty huge. It would be best if you didn’t have to compromise your values to be in a relationship with him. This could be anything from drug usage to your religious views. If there is a huge divide in your beliefs, it could become a problem. Of course, many couples have successfully navigated the difficulties of different religions, but they usually went in with open eyes, and it was a discussion point from the beginning.
If he is involved in something you find distasteful, you might want to walk away. Why fight it? He might give it up for a bit but may resent you later for asking him to. Talk about these issues with each other because they are the foundation of a relationship. Watch out for the red flags in this category. Ignoring them now can cause much pain and heartache in the future.
He is Always on Your Mind
You get that unique feeling when he’s around. He’s always on your mind when he’s not around. You feel it way down deep inside, and it’s a feeling like no other. He also expresses these same feelings and thoughts of you. It’s that special something that makes you long to be together.
Sure, maybe some science can explain this phenomenon. But as a romance author, I prefer to call it TRUE LOVE.
