When you got married, things may have started beautifully with your in-laws, but somewhere a few months in or even by the time the wedding reception hall is cleaned up, something gives way, and your “in-law” turns into an “outlaw.”
While respecting your partner’s family, taking care of yourself is essential. Unfortunately, some personality types lean toward becoming emotional doormats to keep the peace. Playing this falsely “placid” role works for a little while but usually ends with the doormat exploding everywhere and to everyone. Confrontation is another route some go, but this needs to be planned out.
Often we choose to confront something in our minds before the right words have time to organize themselves, leaving us spouting something hurtful that could do more damage than good.
Here are some tips on how to handle an unfriendly outlaw:
 Talk to your partner about the situation. Likely, they are just as frustrated as you are. Discussing the problem openly will help you both devise a plan on how to deal with it.
Don’t take things personally. Remember that this is not about you. It’s about them. Their behavior is a reflection of their issues, not yours.
Set boundaries as needed. If someone consistently crosses your boundaries, it’s important to communicate this to them directly and assertively.
The reality is that when you marry someone, you don’t just marry them. You marry their whole family. Therefore, having a great relationship with your in-laws is essential. Maybe “great” isn’t attainable but at least have a respectful relationship honoring each other’s individuality and unique qualities. Having a good relationship with your in-laws can make your life much easier and more enjoyable.
Compromise may be the name of the game. You may have to give a little more than you want, but maintain healthy boundaries. The relationship with your “in-law” family is meaningful, but so is your mental health. Working together, you and your spouse can achieve a win/win situation regarding your extended family.
Here are a few tips for maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws:
First, communicate openly and honestly with each other. This will help to avoid any misunderstandings.
Respect each other’s opinions and beliefs, even if you disagree.
Spend time together doing things that everyone enjoys. This will help to create lasting memories and bonds between everyone involved.
Be flexible and willing to compromise when necessary. But, of course, no one is perfect, so sometimes, it’s required to give and take to keep the peace.
Whatever you choose, find a way to keep the peace with your in-laws. It will help your marriage, health, and well-being and bring more peace into your marriage. Sometimes, this peaceful relationship may not be possible, and you learn how to best deal with your “outlaws” together. No matter what your choice is, be sure your spouse is in complete agreement. Though external relations can be distracting, remembering the vital importance of your spouse always comes first.
