So are you “lost that loving feeling?” Sometimes our busy schedules between work and life obligations can drown out that intimacy that was once a delight between you and your partner. If you are missing that feeling, it is almost 100% possible your partner is too. It is time to get honest about what is going on and choose a different path.
For example, when was the last time you and your partner truly connected? If it’s been a while, don’t worry – you can reignite the spark! It may take some effort, but re-establishing intimacy is worth it for the long-term health of your relationship.
We often become so focused on our career, family, or social obligations that we put intimacy on the back burner. Of course, many couples will tease that “that is just the way it is” after you are together for longer. But the truth of the matter is that we often neglect that which we need the most. Bringing back that “loving feeling” is possible. Here are a few tips to get started:
1. Talk about what intimacy means to you.
Sit down and enjoy a good conversation with your partner about what intimacy means to you. You might be surprised by what it means to them. For some, intimacy may mean a nice evening walk together, sharing hopes and dreams, and any conflicts or stressors. Having a safe landing spot for your thoughts is a beautiful gift of intimacy. Often the more you can communicate well with each other, then the rest of your personal needs are met with great passion. However, it takes time to feel secure or to remember that your partner has your back, allowing them to open up intimately to you more. Yes, even after years of a relationship. Intimacy doesn’t die at a certain point; it simply becomes forgotten.
2. Make time for each other.
A sample of this is the walk in the evening mentioned above, but making time can look like many different things. It can be a 5-minute phone call at lunch or a nice cup of coffee in the morning shared before heading out for the day. Taking time shows that you find them a priority and are genuinely interested in them on a very intimate and consistent level.
3. Be present when you’re together.
Are you fully present when you are with your significant other? Or is the TV, smartphone, or any distractions allowed into that time together? A 30-minute technology or distraction-free time can do wonders for your relationship. So put down that device and strike up a conversation. Time in a relationship equals investment and thus grows the overall value of the partnership.
4. Get physical – touch, hug, and kiss often.
You do not have to swing off the chandelier to have a crazy good time. Get physical by sitting beside them and putting an arm around your partner’s shoulders. Touch their hand or arm when talking to them. Be sure never to pass up an opportunity for a kiss or hug. Physical touch builds a bond that is not quickly broken. Be sure and take time to make physical contact a natural flow of your day-to-day experience.
5. Think about what you can do to increase your chances of being intimate.
After tending to strengthen your intimate connections, as mentioned prior, be sure and do specific things that you know your partner enjoys to increase your chances of having an intimate time together. Perhaps it involves candles, a bubble bath, their favorite homecooked meal, or even a movie they may enjoy (even if it isn’t your first choice). Again, you need to put your partner’s needs above yours and consider what you can do to increase their desire for intimacy. It is incredible how by doing this, you also will have an increased desire simply by meeting their needs. It is a win/win situation.
6. Be patient with each other and have fun!
Whatever you do…do not rush things! Take your time. It may take a while to rekindle the intimacy in your relationship. It may also look a bit different now than when you first met. Work hard not to make it frustrating for you or your partner. Patience is crucial, and so is creativity. Have fun in the process.
Sometimes we let “life” get in the way and forget the needs of the one closest to us. If you fall into the same old routine daily, it is time to make a change. That “loving feeling” is worth finding again. Enjoy the journey!
