People never think about anger or agitation in a successful relationship, career, or life. But they are often the things that creep up and destroy the happiness in your life. Almost all cases, it starts with something small and manageable, which blows up into something much more extensive and less controllable.
Anger and inner agitation typically build up over weeks, months, and years. Old issues fester and are combined with new challenges that only tend to worsen things. What starts as a minor irritant becomes a giant boil that only worsens over time. What follows are some tips that will help you head off situations before they become unmanageable.
Think Before You Say Anything
Remember that anger is going to be a natural response to certain situations. For example, you will feel angry if you see your car damaged and your home messed up. But when feelings of anger arise with the person that you love, it’s time to pause. First, it would be best if you took a breath. Otherwise, you are only going to make the situation worse than it is.
Express From Your Point of View
When you have calmed down, express your feelings from your perspective, not the person you may want to blame. Be non-confrontational so that the other person has a chance to respond. Explain to the other person how this situation makes you feel without foisting the blame on them.
It may take a little practice, but you must regain your calm and express your point of view. Do not lash out.
Use Humor
One of the most effective ways to take the temperature down is to tell a joke or do something funny. Humor may be the most effective weapon in turning an out-of-control situation into one that is calm and far less tense. It relates to others that you are keeping things in perspective.
Of course, it helps if your joke is funny. But at the very least, it should not be directed at the other person. Self-depreciation can be quite effective in lowering the temperature and helping open communication.
Get Rid of Grudges
Perhaps the biggest culprit is hanging on to old grudges when you should have ditched them long ago. Quite often, relationships end not because of one incident but several that have added up over time instead of being put away.
By dealing with grudges right away, you can dispose of them and think with a clearer head. And when you can do that, you can lead a happier life.
Of course, not everyone is going to have the perfect response when something happens that angers them. However, it would help if you did what you could to lower the temperature first before doing or saying anything else.
A relationship is full of challenges; you should not add to that burden with anger or agitation, especially in situations where you can strengthen your relationship by responding positively, constructively, and humorously.
