Relationship problems can be a considerable challenge to overcome. Every couple will run into a point of conflict, and how you deal with them will determine the emotional health of your relationship. How you handle conflict will prove how strong or in need your partnership’s communication skills, trust level, and ability to compromise. Intentionally “fighting fair” has many advantages. When you find yourself in a disagreement, many solutions are available if you take the time to explore them.
Here are eight tips for solving relationship problems:Â
1. Seek professional help
Relationship problems can often be resolved more effectively with the help of a professional. A therapist can help you and your partner communicate more effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully. Therapy should not only be reserved for significant issues. If you can learn how to develop better communication about the “little” things, then the “big” thing often resolve themselves when they appear. It does require a commitment on both sides to have successful couples therapy. It can even be fun if you allow it.
2. Don’t bottle up feelings
If you’re feeling upset, frustrated, or angry in your relationship, it’s important to let those feelings out constructively. If you bottle up your feelings, the situation will continue to worsen. Expressing your feelings openly and honestly with your partner helps you avoid the “big blowups!” Sharing how something makes you feel allows your partner to understand how their behavior or words impact you and also allows you to see if what you are feeling is valid. Sometimes we misinterpret each other, and communication will enable us to voice our thoughts.
3. Don’t dismiss what the other person is saying
It’s essential to listen to what your partner says, even if you disagree with them. So often, in a disagreement, we will instantly go into defense mode, and when our partner is talking, we are only thinking about our response, not actively listening to what they are saying. Instead, take time to listen to your partner. Allow them space to share their thoughts, then consider your response. By actually listening, you are respecting them as an individual and building a deeper relationship with them.
4. Don’t be judgmental
Avoid being critical of your partner and blaming them for things that make you unhappy. Blaming the other person is a quick way to alienate them and damage your relationship. We are all broken one way or the other. Avoiding judgment is critical to a healthy relationship. If you become judgmental, it may be time to spend time on yourself and assess your motives. When stressed, we easily fall into the ditch of judgment, so taking time for a personal assessment and returning to the disagreement can save you from a bit of heartache.
5. Don’t go off on a tangent
Try to stay on topic, even if that topic is frustrating. As humans, we often fight about the silliest things. Laundry not quite making it to the hamper, a dish left in the sink, or even a sideways glance can trigger a disagreement. Tangents cause chaos and are not conducive to any healthy communication. If you want to scream about something, do so solo. Afterward, reengage the conversation with your partner. It will help you to avoid unnecessary arguments.
6. Never attack each other’s character
Avoid personal attacks on your partner’s character, for example, by saying, “You’re such a jerk.” Instead, focus on your behavior, such as “I didn’t mean to insult you.” By choosing not to attack each other personally, you can best keep the argument from going into a long-term roadblock. Make sure you choose your words wisely when talking through a conflict.
7. Don’t make threats
Don’t say, “I’ll never speak to you again,” or “You’ll always be a loser in my eyes.” Popping off is never a good thing. Making threats only builds doubt and fear of abandonment in a relationship. Avoid threats at all costs.
8. Don’t use sarcasm to avoid dealing with complicated feelings
Sarcasm can be fun in the right atmosphere, but an argument is not one of them. If you turn to sarcasm in a fight, it is likely to become offensive and hurtful. Sometimes it is used as a defensive mechanism when attacked and if this is your weakness, consider working on changing it, especially in a heated disagreement.
Fighting fair is a vital key to success in relationships. Of course, we will always disagree about one thing, but we must take time amidst a conflict to communicate well. Take the time to consider these top 8 suggestions. Your relationship will grow in depth, and your disagreements will avoid becoming lifelong roadblocks or even walls between you and your partner.
