The question of what makes a relationship extraordinary may seem to have an obvious answer for most people. But you may be surprised at how many different answers you will get when asking that question. The truth is that a relationship is unique for many reasons, but most couples share some basics.
Attraction
This is more than just wanting to be with each other or being physically attracted to each other. Attraction to a person is their identity and what makes them unique. It is an appreciation of the person, their identity, and how they make you feel when being with them. Attraction can include shared interests, behavior patterns, and similar upbringings—the since of feeling yourself physically and mentally drawn to someone.
Commitment
By putting your partner’s needs first, you are committing to ensuring that your relationship can last. One of the biggest regrets that so many people feel when a relationship falls apart is whether they did enough to work toward their partner’s needs. You can bolster your relationship significantly by being willing to commit through thick and thin. Commitment is not to be viewed as an obligation but more successfully viewed as an opportunity. As a result, each partner has the opportunity to spend time loving the other.
Communication
One of the most critical factors in a relationship is your communication skills. How two people who think individually and as a couple develops relational communication is vital to the health of your relationship. That means you should talk to each other with care as if you were talking to yourself. How would you like to be spoken to, and most importantly, how do they want to be communicated? Paying close attention to your partner’s communication preferences allows healthier conversations and much more success. By taking that viewpoint, you can expand your communication level so that both of you feel loved even during trying times.
Facing Conflict
Conflict is part of every relationship. The key is how to handle it productively. As difficult as it may be, put aside your feelings and work to resolve the conflict. It will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
Your relationship can grow stronger by working to resolve the conflict instead of assigning blame. It’s a big step but learning to resolve disputes when they occur is one of the reasons why people stay together.
Listening
You can learn far more from listening than just hearing what someone else says. Many times when we simply “hear” someone, we are subconsciously filtering through our thoughts on whatever is being discussed and not listening to their perspective. Listening is vital in the process of fostering a healthy relationship. It means taking the time to understand how your partner is feeling and what they are saying and getting insight into their thoughts. When you listen, you can respond appropriately to their needs. Not what you “think” they need but what they have told you they need.
When you enhance the skill of listening, your relationship has a better chance of lasting for a very long time. So work on your listening skills, and you will do well.
Your Thinking Becomes the Same
In other words, stop thinking of “what I would do” instead of “what can we do.” No longer is your interest the most important. Instead, it is what both of you consider important that is paramount. Successful relationships are built on the foundation of shared responsibility. This means thinking about what is best for us and not for the individual.
Maybe some of these areas in you or your relationship need improvement. Take time with your partner and allow growth to take place. A great relationship takes commitment, emotional energy, and tons of loving patience. Enjoy the journey.
