All of my readers know I’ve been happily married for quite some time. And many of them ask me what our secret is. I’ll admit I don’t have all the answers. But I am willing to share some key advice that has worked for us, expressing gratitude for your marriage.
Practicing Gratitude
A long time ago, I started practicing an attitude of gratitude. I wasn’t thinking of my marriage at the time, but other aspects of my life were missing something. After reading a ton of self-help books and talking to people who seemed to have a happier outlook than me, it became clear that being thankful for what I do have instead of concentrating on what I don’t was the key.
This was when I started keeping a gratitude journal. Every night, before falling asleep, I would write five things for which I was thankful that day. It’s hard to believe, but this practice changed my life. It took a concerted effort, but I started focusing on all the things I DID have to be thankful for, and I had so much to write down. Once I changed my outlook, things started looking up. It’s amazing how changing your attitude can change your view of things and, in turn, your life. I strongly recommend practicing gratitude in your daily life. It did wonders for me, and I know it will work for you too.
Start with practicing things you are personally thankful for, and then look at what you have to be grateful for in your relationship.
Expressing Gratitude in Your Marriage
With the lessons I was learning on improving my outlook, I wondered if this could carry across to my marriage. Frequently, I was becoming upset when my husband wasn’t doing what I wanted him to or wasn’t treating me the way I wanted to be treated. Now, my hubby is a great guy. But spend year after year with someone, and it’s easy to start taking him for granted.
So I decided to include my husband in my nightly gratitude exercise. I thought about all the ways he is awesome and everything he does for me every day. I began to concentrate on what he was doing right, not wrong. And it began to work. I started to realize what a blessed woman I am. But then, it was time to take it a little further.
So far, my exercise has been internal. It was only for me and my outlook. I thought, “What if I expressed this thankfulness to him daily? Would he notice? Would he appreciate it? Would it bring us closer?” It was worth a try!
So Is It the Secret to a Happy Marriage?
I won’t go as far as saying it is, but I do have to say our marriage was greatly improved because of it. Whenever he did anything nice for me, no matter how small, I commented on it. And not only that, but if he did something annoyed me, I refrained from saying anything. I have to tell you. It was pretty tricky at first. But eventually, it became a habit, and I was always complimenting him. So he’ll let you know now that he does feel appreciated in our marriage and that it is partly why we have such a great relationship.
And another secret is that I think subconsciously, he started wanting my attention and doing things more and more that pleased me. So it was a total win-win! He felt appreciated, and I was on the receiving end of his friendly gestures.
What’s Your Advice?
I’d love to hear more about my readers’ marriage success stories. To what do you attribute your happy relationship? Please comment below, and let’s get this conversation started. A happy marriage is a true blessing and one we want to encourage.
