Romance is a term misused in our society. For example, you may hear someone say, “He is so romantic,” when talking about a dinner date. But true romance is much more than dinner or looking longingly into each other’s eyes. The attributes of romance go far beyond a superficial level.
You may ask yourself if you are involved in a truly romantic relationship. Perhaps you are, but maybe not. You can figure out the amount of “romance” in your relationship by comparing the standards of what makes a true romance different from a superficial attraction.
“We” or “Me?”
How you refer to your relationship activities may be the most telling indicator of a truly romantic relationship. When your viewpoint shifts from what is best for you to what is best for both of you. It means that you have gained an understanding and respect for your partner. Then, with both of you in mind, you plan for the future. If you or your partner only refer to “me” or “I” when making plans or discussing activities you are doing together; your relationship is missing romance.
Courtship or Just Dating?
Courtship is taking your time with someone to get to know them and to fall in love with all aspects surrounding them. Romance is alive in this activity, requiring both partners to engage equally in the relationship. Dating is simply that, dating. You are going out for one meal, one movie, or maybe a few without a genuine desire to dig deeper into each other’s true selves. Often, people date for a long time without a real passion for commitment and, thus, no need for romance. Are you actively taking time to get to know each other with something more than just another date in mind? Courtship goes hand in hand with romance. If it is missing, then there is a good chance romance is also missing.
Quality Time Together
Family, responsibility, and work often get in the way of pursuing romance. But time can be carved out to ensure that the both of you can explore and expand the feelings you have for one another. Many couples only have a few minutes before they fall asleep to be alone together. Making room for intentional quality time together is a must.
Make plans together, such as meeting for lunch, going out on a weekend adventure, or doing a project together, and let the feelings of romance rekindle. The planning portion of this activity helps you both remember that you enjoy your time together. If your relationship does not include quality time together, then the possibility of it lacking romance is powerful. So it may be time to do some planning.
Time spent together does not guarantee romance but increases the possibility of it blooming.
Romantic Communication
As important as it is to fuel romance, it is also important to open lines of communication. This could be a note left for your partner somewhere in the house, such as in the kitchen or the bathroom mirror. The little love notes give a boost to the level of romance at play in your relationship. You may even text or call each other to say, “Hello, I just called to say I love you, and I am thinking of you.” In a world so filled with distractions, it is nice to know you are being thought of by the one you love. Communicating is a crucial element in a romantic relationship. Sharing these thoughts of compassion when things are going well helps your relationship stick together through any trials you may face. After all, even in disagreement, you still genuinely desire the best for the one you love deep in your heart.
If you and your partner truly want to move out of the “me” zone and into an actual “Happily Ever After,” you must be willing to put time into growing your relationship. You are communicating clearly and compassionately and learning how to honestly keep the romance alive and well at all costs.
