It’s difficult to admit when you no longer feel the desire for your partner that you once did. However, for many couples in long-term relationships, the fading of desire is a common issue. There are many reasons why this happens, but the physical desire to be intimate is something that all people want, but not as many people understand why such desires fade over time.
Many reasons why the desires for physical intimacy fades are not because a person is looking elsewhere to have it fulfilled. Many couples who have no intention of going anywhere and are deeply in love will most likely have times when the physical desire seems like a faded memory.
Why It Happens
There are several reasons why the desire to be intimate fades over time—identifying the causes can help you take the appropriate action if you want to rekindle those feelings.
- Different interests, goals, or desires in life
- Other issues have come to the forefront
- Physical or mental issues
- Trust or respect issues
- Taking love for granted
Admittedly, some of these issues are either quite common and understandable, such as raising kids, facing new challenges at work, or becoming interested in new projects that take over much of a person’s life. The challenge is to find what issues are standing in the way of your desire and then act.
What to Do
For physical or mental challenges, such as an injury, illness, or dementia in older couples, overcoming such issues is straightforward and may be pretty tricky. But at least you know what it is and if something can be done.
If the issue is the aging process on the body, the weight gain, and the lack of a youthful figure, then hitting the gym is a good idea. You may not become 20 years old again, but you can get into good physical condition and feel better about yourself.
For other issues, such as changing interests and goals, you can do something about it rather quickly. However, such problems need to be addressed from the start. This means putting aside your other interests, at least for a time, to focus more on your relationship. It can be as simple as setting a date night every month or taking additional time to talk before bed.
The challenges will be more difficult for trust and respect issues. This means identifying what has happened and going from there. If you cannot trust or respect your partner or yourself, there is nowhere to go until that is resolved.
Try Something New
In many cases, the faded desire can be rekindled by trying new things together. Keep in mind that much of the excitement from the passion you felt was rooted in experiencing something new. Trying new things, such as taking a weekend getaway to someplace different, trying a new hobby together, or just doing things out of order, can shake up your relationship and help to rekindle those feelings of desire.
