Stress is a normal part of life, but it can be challenging to deal with when you’re in a relationship. If you’re feeling stressed, you must communicate with your partner and devise a plan to manage the stress together. Here are some tips for handling stress in a relationship:
First, talk about what’s causing the stress.
It’s no secret that stress can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health. But did you know that some of the most common things that cause stress are things we do to ourselves? Here are some of the top things that cause stress and what you can do to handle them:
Worrying about things you can’t control: This is a significant source of stress for many people. We worry about the weather, the economy, jobs, and world events over which we have no control. The best way to deal with this type of stress is to focus on the things you CAN control, like your attitude, your effort, and your response to whatever situation you’re facing.
Procrastinating:Â Another primary source of stress is putting off something that needs to be done. Procrastination can be as simple as delaying a phone call or even as complex as putting off a significant decision. You don’t have to be a workaholic, but getting things done on time is essential.
Overreacting:Â Â When you react to something without thinking it through, you give up all control of the situation and make yourself vulnerable to whatever happens next. Slow down and remember to breathe and even count. Practicing a “pause” will help you regain your composure and avoid overreacting.
Jumping to conclusions: Since you can’t know the future, it’s usually not a good idea to jump to conclusions about what will happen. Unfortunately, at times we tend to jump to conclusions about what did happen. Truthfully either are toxic for our relationship. If you and your partner agree to communicate clearly and directly, it helps avoid this pitfall.
Whining is a habit that most of us have developed over the years. It’s straightforward to pick up but doesn’t do much good. It can cause stress all around. Pay attention if you are whining, and work on finding a better outlet for your frustration. A nice walk or some meditation may be necessary at a time when complaining is a temptation.
Playing a victim is simply giving up your control over your life and blaming everyone else for your problems. Some feel just giving up releases the stress of having to make a decision or “do” something. The truth is quite the opposite. Being a victim develops deep-seated frustration and a toxic belief that our feelings or thoughts don’t matter. Stay away from the victim trap.
Using your anger: Anger is a normal human emotion, but it’s not a good idea to use it as a weapon against others. Though you may feel like you are just “letting off steam,” the reality is that the steam you are letting off is burning someone you care about deeply and is also damaging your mental health. Therefore, finding helpful ways to release your anger is highly recommended for your physical, mental, and spiritual health and your relationship.
Being cynical: Â This means you always expect the worst, and when things go wrong, you shrug your shoulders and say, “I told you so.” Cynicism is another way of giving up your power and silencing the real issue. It also displaces any blame for your decisions onto someone else. Finding a constructive avenue to express your fears, thoughts, or frustrations is much better than casting judgment, untruths, and blame on someone who honestly may not be at fault.
Not forgiving yourself:Â Â When we make mistakes, it’s easy to beat ourselves up. We should forgive ourselves when we make a mistake, especially if it wasn’t intentional. We must forgive ourselves even for the things we did with intent but later regret. Holding unforgiveness inside is very toxic. Find a way to find forgiveness through prayer, counseling, or conversation. Holding onto it only allows unforgiveness to have more power over you than it should.
Not forgiving our partner: When our partner makes a mistake, we must work hard to let it go. Unforgiveness develops bitterness which kills relationships. Much like not forgiving yourself, you must find a healthy way to deal with the issue of forgiveness.
Sometimes simply stopping and taking a personal assessment of a situation can help avoid adding more stress to our already stressed selves. Take time and take care of yourself to make sure the stress you are carrying does not become a toxic element in your relationship. Avoiding the overflow of stress most certainly guarantees a “Happily Ever After.”
